Monday, May 2, 2011

Having A Mary Spirit

Just yesterday evening I was in church and I felt like God wanted me to go into the small,
yet so timely library at the church. While I was in there, I saw this book and as I skimmed
through it, I felt like God was wanting me to buy it. When I read some of the words in this
book I just felt like I was exactly what she was describing. I struggle so much with being
like a "Martha" and not like a "Mary" in my life. I often want to be like Mary, but struggle
with actually having a "Mary Spirit." So I decided to buy the book even though I knew I
couldn't really afford to spend money on something like a book right now. I came home
last night and just couldn't put it down. My heart aches to be like the wonderful Mary's
and like Esther, Deborah and even some of the great men in the Bible, like Paul, Job and
David and SO many others! I know that growing in Jesus takes time and I am willing to
take the time I have to to become who He has called me to be! As I was reading just the
beginning few chapters I saw that I had this picture of me trying to become "perfect" in
every way that I can, all the while I am needing and wanting God to become perfect in me!
I can't do it! I just can't be like anything in God's word WITHOUT Him-Jesus! He is the
author and perfector of my faith! I have to truly truly let go of the strings I am holding onto!

So Jesus, please take control of all of me! Help me to be like YOU! Build charcter 
and life and love and faith and hope and everything good within me from the 
INSIDE OUT! Help me to be beautiful from the inside out-a REFLECTION OF 
YOU JESUS! Help me not to live gratifying the desires of my flesh and living in 
my sinful, fallen nature, but the wonderul nature that You have called me to be 
in-a nature flowing with beauty and grace, hope, love  and faith! Jesus I am all 
Yours and Sold Out To You Jesus! I love You Father!

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