Fixing My Eyes On Father

Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. -Hebrews 12:2

God is taking me through a beautiful, yet extremely painful growth spurt in my walk with Him! It's wonderful and a blessing and very rewarding, but why does it have to be SO hard? I don't really know why, but I'm discovering SO many things during this time. I'm already seeing how God has changed so much in my heart and broken off lies and different things in me that aren't off Him. It's just a continual growing process. It doesn't just happen overnight. I've noticed that things that God takes the most time with are often the most beautiful things. I know that nothing in my life is worthy of being called beautiful. The only way ANY of it COULD be called beautiful is only by God's doing. He's writing my story. I've made many mistakes, believed SO many lies from the enemy and have tried to fix myself by doing better in areas where I'm weak and I fail! I have tried doing things I know that are right and I fail...of course a lot of this has been in my own strength and not living through the things God has placed on the inside of me. I fail when I TRY TO DO THINGS or TO FIX THINGS or MAKE THINGS BY MYSELF. Anything in me that I personally try to do in my own ability and strength is going to fail or crumble because I'm not IN CHRIST in those moments. I am "in Traci." Why do I think that I have my life under control?!?

For example, I can honestly say that I have struggled financially some and I struggled once with providing myself with food and I would somehow ALWAYS get a meal! That was TOTALLY God and I would look in that moment and think "WOW! God! You TRULY do take care of me!" It's amazing how God provides and loves and takes care of His children. WHY IN THE WORLD do I worry and believe the stupid, dumb lies of the Enemy!? The truth is-it sounds "right" when I'm not looking at myself or others or certain circumstances through God's eyes. If I would start to look at life in every single detail through the lens of my Heavenly Father, then MAYBE I would start believing and seeing what HE SEES! It's SO hard, right? Especially when life gets hard! BUT when Paul was shipwrecked and beaten and left for dead and put in prison, etc, did he base who He was and who GOD IS off of those circumstances and did he look to his past and beat himself up or believe the Enemy? OR did He trust and believe God, NO MATTER WHAT life through his way? He trusted in the sovereignty of our wonderful Heavenly Father!

Where are our eyes fixed? On HIM or on ourselves? Do we believe Him and HIS PROMISES? OR do we listen to the lies and the accusations and condemnations and stupidity of the Enemy? It's God's PROMISES over the Enemy's stupid lies! How do we find God's promises? In His word! Spending time with Jesus will help us in knowing who we are in Christ and the promises that He has for our lives!

Fixing My Eyes On Father,
Traci